I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
