Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize