That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
