Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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