Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
