this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
