Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
