My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My hand turned me down
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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