I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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