and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
