Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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