how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize