we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
