I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
