I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
