i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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