Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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