He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Everclear isn't food dammit
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
