i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
