Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
