Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
