I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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