Yo dont text me then not text me
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize