ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
