dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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