I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
