I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
