don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
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