I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize