Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
