i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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