I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Randomize
