so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
