Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
