I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
