this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
This show inspires me to have sex in space
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
