do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
