420 ftw
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
