And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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