So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
