I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
