The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
