No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
