I'm going to jail i love you
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Sex in the backyard? Check.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
