the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
