She is in my trunk
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
