i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
