Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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