i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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