i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
