I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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