ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
