How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
