Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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