Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize