it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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