Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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