just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She bit a glass in half.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
