Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
