one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
