I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I have already put on my inside pants.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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