I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
