is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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