So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
