maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
accomplished twins. life is a go
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
