I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
