batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
