Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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