We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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