do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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