i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
